Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 10, 2010

hair apparent

Friday, 4.9.10

Every time I make an appointment to get my hair cut, I’m curious as to how I am going to look when I leave the salon.

I usually know what I want to do with my hair; at my age, that should be a given. Somehow or another, it’s rare that how I see myself walking out of the salon is actually what I look like in reality. Not that my stylist gives me bad haircuts. I don’t think she’s capable of that. But sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself when I see the end result.

In the past, especially with Morgan who has been cutting my hair for two years now, I find my haircut reveals the age I am revisiting for issues, beliefs, and patterns to be reviewed at the time. Today’s haircut is me at nine years old.

OK you Matrix Energetics fans – into the time travel machine we go! Yup, that’s right. My  haircuts seem to be my subconscious’ rule to time travel, so that’s what I did. Since the haircut is an indicator pinpointing when, I felt right back to nine years old and what was going on in my life. Predominantly, it revolves around my writing. Ironic, no?

Shortly before I turned ten, I started fourth grade. Or at least I was supposed to. I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and in 1969 we started the school year that fall with a teacher’s strike of epic proportions. I’m not too sure how long we were out of school, but it was long enough that we had to attend classes part time at the local Catholic school and do homework assignments and projects, to turn in to our new teachers when classes started. If I remember correctly, that was somewhere in late October or early November.

One of the projects was to visit the Brooklyn Museum and write a report on the ancient Egyptians. For anyone who isn’t familiar with the Museum’s permanent Egyptian exhibit – it’s well known for its size, which to a nine year old, I can assure you, is HUGE. My mom took me and my three brothers on the hour long bus ride to the museum so I could do my research. In my nine year old mind, research meant copying every single description in front of every single artifact on display which was as torturous for me as it was for my brothers. Oddly enough, my mom seemed to enjoy the outing, which I can totally understand now. (If you’ve ever tried to actually see a museum exhibit with one child under the age of 13 in tow, you can only imagine what it might have been like with four!) My report consisted of neatly recopying the index cards, forty pages in total, and proudly submitting it with a drawing of a mummy drawn on white paper and pasted on the construction paper for a cover.

My grade for all of my enormous effort, dedication, and attention to detail? “Poor.” That’s right, I’d failed. My nine year old heart was broken, shattered to pieces since I’d dreamed of growing up to be a writer. The reason for the grade was never explained to me, nor was I ever really taught how to research and write a report of this magnitude. Seeing my nine year old haircut in the mirror at the salon today literally made me laugh out loud. I knew what it meant I was going to visit, and release the energetic charge to, immediately, and not to soon, either! Fear of failure surrounding writing which, by the way was repeated – the fear and the failure-  valiantly in my adulthood! (I’ve been noticing patterns in my life since 1982!) It was time to use my ME tools to release this and finally be free.

It would seem that I’d already done this with my daily writing about ‘living Matrix Energetics’; I’d set myself free. But this is much like my journaling, so it isn’t charged for me the way, say, writing magazine articles about the human condition is, as I set out to do in the early 1980’s. Releasing this charge, phase conjugating this blow to my nine year old self, will free me to step confidently into what I set out to do, what I love to do, all those years ago.

In his second book, The Physics of Miracles, Dr. Bartlett defines phase-conjugation as the novel nonlinear mixing of waves that generate the output wave — called the phase-conjugate replica or time-reversed replica — that precisely retraces the path previously taken by the input wave that stimulated the action. Simply put, much like two waves in the ocean meeting each other, these waves meeting in space-time cancel each other out.

I find my haircut represents the age I am revisiting for issues, beliefs, and patterns to be reviewed at the time. Today’s haircut is me at nine years old.

At Matrix Energetics seminars, this is often talked about in reference to the medical model of cancer or tumors, but I have used it successfully for myself and others in relation to emotional issues. After all, it’s all points of light and information! It’s time to release myself from this well worn pattern at long last.

Who’s looking back at you in the mirror?


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