Posted by: Artandsoulnj | May 2, 2010

domestic goddess

Sunday, 5.02.10

This morning over coffee Len and I had our usual conversation about what to do today. Like so many other Sunday mornings, we both felt the pressure of work to be done — work in the house and the myriad of endless business details calling both of us.

And, like so many other Sunday mornings, my guilt overrode my desire to go out and have fun. I defaulted to Len deciding ‘what to do’, which of course, lead to a mini-explosion of frustration on my part when he suggested we go to a museum in NYC.

Why the explosion? It would seem that would be a fun thing to do – certainly more fun than sitting at the computer or vacuuming the entire house yet again in the endless attempt to keep up with our ever-shedding canine child…. I was frustrated because to me, going to the museum is like watching television, or going to a movie. It’s passive and not doing anything.

I feel as though my whole life is just a series of observations — that I am always and only observing everyone living a life. It has felt as though everyone else is creating art, work, relationships, events…. And not only am I the consummate observer, but the clean-up crew after the fun is over. In short, I am the ‘domestic engineer’. I’m tired of looking at what others have created or done. I want to feel a paintbrush move across a canvas and see what shows up. I want to feel music move through me as my body feels it.

To his credit, Len wasn’t attached to visiting a museum. He offered that we do whatever I wanted. And there’s the rub. I didn’t know what I want to do. So off he went to take Nash (the canine child) to the park for his daily play date, and I worked off my frustration by sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.

Okay, so why is this all so important in a ‘living matrix energetics’ experience?

While I was having my little temper tantrum, I pointed out how there is always something that needs to be done in the house – that as I spoke, I was looking at Nash’s furballs hiding under the kitchen chairs and all of the spots on the floor that needed to be cleaned! Suddenly, while mopping the floor, I found myself laughing at the irony of the lesson here. I had observed and then I acted on it.

Yes, quantum physics’ hypothesis is that the observer affect the observed. The fact that I am observing everyone else’s activities and creations in and of itself affects the outcomes of what I am observing. And so I am unwittingly participating in creation. But when it comes to my own creations, observing is only half of the equation. To create the reality I desire (in this case, it was a clean kitchen floor), I have to take action. Basic stuff. And yes, I have to look at the patterns and beliefs,or memes, that are keeping me in this holding pattern and rather than continuing to collapse the wave, locking them into my reality, just let go of the attachment to the outcome and move through them.

When Len returned from the park, I’d let go of all attachments to what we did today and simply wanted to have fun with my hubby. We went to lunch in Chinatown as we’d talked agreed. We decided to just wander around and see what drew our attention… in other words, to notice what we noticed. We found a restaurant tucked away on Bayard Street, off of Mott Street, that Mayor Bloomberg frequents and decided if it’s good enough for the Mayor of NY, it’s good enough for us. And it was! We feasted for $22. After we ate, we found ourselves wandering over to the Bowery, and decided to check out the exhibit at the New Museum. In spite of my not always ‘getting’ modern art, I was pleasantly surprised at how much of the featured exhibit  I not only understood, but agreed with and am inspired by! That just goes to prove, one is never too old to learn!

(Here’s the link to the New Museum of NY: http://www.newmuseum.org/)

As I told Richard Bartlett with the advent of my fiftieth birthday, I am no longer a ‘domestic engineer’.

I am a ‘domestic goddess’.

Lunch in Chinatown, NYC

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