Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 10, 2010

hair apparent

Friday, 4.9.10

Every time I make an appointment to get my hair cut, I’m curious as to how I am going to look when I leave the salon.

I usually know what I want to do with my hair; at my age, that should be a given. Somehow or another, it’s rare that how I see myself walking out of the salon is actually what I look like in reality. Not that my stylist gives me bad haircuts. I don’t think she’s capable of that. But sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself when I see the end result.

In the past, especially with Morgan who has been cutting my hair for two years now, I find my haircut reveals the age I am revisiting for issues, beliefs, and patterns to be reviewed at the time. Today’s haircut is me at nine years old.

OK you Matrix Energetics fans – into the time travel machine we go! Yup, that’s right. My  haircuts seem to be my subconscious’ rule to time travel, so that’s what I did. Since the haircut is an indicator pinpointing when, I felt right back to nine years old and what was going on in my life. Predominantly, it revolves around my writing. Ironic, no?

Shortly before I turned ten, I started fourth grade. Or at least I was supposed to. I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and in 1969 we started the school year that fall with a teacher’s strike of epic proportions. I’m not too sure how long we were out of school, but it was long enough that we had to attend classes part time at the local Catholic school and do homework assignments and projects, to turn in to our new teachers when classes started. If I remember correctly, that was somewhere in late October or early November.

One of the projects was to visit the Brooklyn Museum and write a report on the ancient Egyptians. For anyone who isn’t familiar with the Museum’s permanent Egyptian exhibit – it’s well known for its size, which to a nine year old, I can assure you, is HUGE. My mom took me and my three brothers on the hour long bus ride to the museum so I could do my research. In my nine year old mind, research meant copying every single description in front of every single artifact on display which was as torturous for me as it was for my brothers. Oddly enough, my mom seemed to enjoy the outing, which I can totally understand now. (If you’ve ever tried to actually see a museum exhibit with one child under the age of 13 in tow, you can only imagine what it might have been like with four!) My report consisted of neatly recopying the index cards, forty pages in total, and proudly submitting it with a drawing of a mummy drawn on white paper and pasted on the construction paper for a cover.

My grade for all of my enormous effort, dedication, and attention to detail? “Poor.” That’s right, I’d failed. My nine year old heart was broken, shattered to pieces since I’d dreamed of growing up to be a writer. The reason for the grade was never explained to me, nor was I ever really taught how to research and write a report of this magnitude. Seeing my nine year old haircut in the mirror at the salon today literally made me laugh out loud. I knew what it meant I was going to visit, and release the energetic charge to, immediately, and not to soon, either! Fear of failure surrounding writing which, by the way was repeated – the fear and the failure-  valiantly in my adulthood! (I’ve been noticing patterns in my life since 1982!) It was time to use my ME tools to release this and finally be free.

It would seem that I’d already done this with my daily writing about ‘living Matrix Energetics’; I’d set myself free. But this is much like my journaling, so it isn’t charged for me the way, say, writing magazine articles about the human condition is, as I set out to do in the early 1980’s. Releasing this charge, phase conjugating this blow to my nine year old self, will free me to step confidently into what I set out to do, what I love to do, all those years ago.

In his second book, The Physics of Miracles, Dr. Bartlett defines phase-conjugation as the novel nonlinear mixing of waves that generate the output wave — called the phase-conjugate replica or time-reversed replica — that precisely retraces the path previously taken by the input wave that stimulated the action. Simply put, much like two waves in the ocean meeting each other, these waves meeting in space-time cancel each other out.

I find my haircut represents the age I am revisiting for issues, beliefs, and patterns to be reviewed at the time. Today’s haircut is me at nine years old.

At Matrix Energetics seminars, this is often talked about in reference to the medical model of cancer or tumors, but I have used it successfully for myself and others in relation to emotional issues. After all, it’s all points of light and information! It’s time to release myself from this well worn pattern at long last.

Who’s looking back at you in the mirror?

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 9, 2010

talking points

Thursday, 4.8.10

Earlier in the week, I mentioned that we had an emotional weekend with lots showing up for us when we went to Connecticut to celebrate Zack’s 17th birthday. Letting time pass to gain some perspective, and exploring some of the details of what I noticed throughout  the trip has lead to some pretty interesting insights as to just how much our subconscious talks to us. We are so often focused on the interpretation of our dreams that we don’t pay attention to the everyday details that show up in our lives when we are in the ‘waking’ state.

After we dropped Zack off at school we headed home to New Jersey. Len offered to drive, so I took a nap. When I woke up, I took out the knitting project I’d brought with me, since it seemed to be the only activity I could do without incurring car sickness. I was admittedly a bit groggy, since I’d fallen into such a deep sleep – the kind where your mouth is hanging open and you drool, although I wasn’t drooling, and so I was quiet. The knitting was a good distraction from my commenting on Len’s driving, which is a different style from my own and showed up as a source of irritation for us both this trip. This was exacerbated by Zack’s earning his driving permit and duplicating some driving ‘techniques’ he’d seen Len do, when he was home for spring break several weeks ago and I took him out to practice. Zack’s maneuvers were more exaggerated and I was understandably extremely nervous. While driving home last weekend, keeping my eyes on the work in my hands and not on the traffic or how Len was driving was a calming distraction for both Len and I.

Not much after I’d woken up, I felt Len braking hard and looked up to see a large cloud of dirt and dust in the road a few cars in front of us. No one was swerving and everyone seemed to be in control. It seemed like there was an accident taking place, except we heard no crash. As we’d slowed up, we drove past a young deer in the middle lane of the highway. It had been hit and seemed to be dead. A small red car had pulled over to the right shoulder, its front end pretty well smashed in. Someone on a motorcycle had stopped to help and no one seemed hurt. We continued on our way, a bit shaken, knowing that we’d only been seconds away from hitting the deer.

As we made our way through New York State, crossing the Tappan Zee bridge, we came across a young woman who’d had a tire blowout. Again, as we approached this, Len had to hit the brakes hard, again causing me to look up from the work in my hands. If we weren’t still moving at 40mph, I would have insisted Len stop so we could stay with  her until help arrived, but stopping wasn’t possible. It was difficult for me to say nothing as I kept thinking of our own daughter, Francesca, driving across the same bridge every time she comes home.

Within twenty minutes, and now in New Jersey, once again Len was riding the brake hard as traffic abruptly slowed down with clouds of dirt and dust once again rising up from the cars immediately ahead of us. This time, there was a van with a family, a part of a ‘caravan’ of several cars traveling together, that had driven up onto the right side shoulder. The embankment was so steep that the baggage in the rear of the van had crashed through the rear windshield, smashing it with bags falling to the ground.

Now we’ve made this trip A LOT in the past six months. I’ve made it at least 15 times in the past year, with both kids in school in Connecticut. I have never experienced one incident, much less three in such a short time span. I knew I needed to pay attention to this, that my subconscious, or the Universe, was talking to me and the volume was turned up high!

In telling my friend Elaine about all this, she posed an interesting question. She asked  how I would see these events, which were in fact connected, if it was a client coming to me with this experience. Since I had been so emotionally connected and invested in all that happened this past weekend, it would have taken more time to get to the core of this. Detaching in this way and going into the wisdom of my heart, I was able to step back and feel into what showed up.

I had to work backwards to get through it. What showed up first and seemed obvious from the new perspective was the family ‘baggage’ flying out the back window literally being our own family’s baggage that I was letting go of. Since I had been telling Elaine how I always packed our van when we went on vacation, it was clear that I was responsible for continuing to pack the baggage and it was time for me to let go of past issues.

The young woman on the bridge was then easy to see as our own daughter, poised to graduate college, move into her own apartment with her boyfriend, and start graduate school, which she is responsible for financing. Not stopping the car, acknowledging that the tire blowout was this young woman’s experience and I didn’t need to go to her rescue to make myself feel better was a critical turning point. The car was on a bridge – she’s crossing the bridge into adulthood – over the Hudson River (water = emotions) was the icing on the cake in this scene.

The first incident, which was the last I revisited, had much more emotional charge for me and I blocked accessing what it represented. To prod me, Elaine told me of her own experience hitting a deer while traveling. When she shared this with a medicine man she’d been working with at the time, he told her that nature is extremely wise. Very often animals who are sick or have a genetic defect and don’t want to pass it on to the herd will commit suicide. In the event of deer leaping across roadways, this seems to be the case, even though science has no way of proving it to be true.

The fear that rose up in my body around this was overwhelming since I knew that it’s related to Zack. He’s emotionally challenged and challenging right now.But I also know that he is in a place with lots of support and he is expected to take responsibility for his actions and behavior. He’s settled back into himself for the most part, except for academics which he is very capable of doing, but resists since he feels it doesn’t apply to ‘real life’. The deer was representing my need to let go of my fear for him.

The point of this blog is to demonstrate how what we’ve learned through our experience with Matrix Energetics shows up in my life.  Yes, it’s personal. And yes, there are a lot of details. But this shows up in your life, too, when you notice. Believe me, it’s all right there. These incidents are all symbolic, like our dreams. The bridge, luggage, young deer, are all archetypes – they are representing a conversation with my subconscious. And believe me, it’s hard not to pay attention!

What’s your subconscious telling you?

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 8, 2010

red light, green light…

Wednesday, 4.7.10

Record breaking temperatures today here in New Jersey — 92 degrees! — and across the tri-state region. As I sit here at the kitchen table with dinner simmering on the stove, it’s hard to believe not even four weeks ago we went through a record breaking nor’easter and six weeks ago, a record breaking snowstorm. These days, when it comes to noticing what’s different, all we have to do is check the weather outside!

When engaging in Matrix Energetics, one of the first things we are guided through is to notice what we notice; what attracts our attention? So often we do this in an offhand way, casually and totally unaware of what we are doing. For me, this has always been second nature (that co-dependent thing), and being a mom enhanced this skill even more. I guess I became expert at “noticing” — noticing what is different and noticing what’s the same. Having a teenaged son, like so many parents, I have fine tuned ‘noticing what’s different’.

As I’ve said before, we do this all of the time and it’s really not complicated. At my recent experience with the Hoffman Process we played the children’s game of “Red Light, Green Light.”

If you aren’t familiar with this game, the person is ‘it’ covers his eyes and turns his back to the other players, saying, ‘red light, green light, one, two, three.” The players all start at the same point a distance from whoever is ‘it’. On ‘red’ they begin racing towards him. On three, everyone stops – completely freezing every part of their body as the person who’s ‘it’ spins around trying to catch the other players in motion. Any small movement sends the player back to the starting point, and so the game continues until someone reaches the person who is ‘it’ and then takes his place.

Playing in the ME morphic field is kind of like playing this children’s game. If we intend change, we notice what is different in our field of awareness — who’s moving ever-so-slightly? And then we notice what else is different — who else is moving? Moving through an experience in this way, we allow changes to continue. Not locking any one outcome into reality, allows for the continued wave of transforming what we expect to see and allows for a multitude of possibility.

Noticing that it was unusually warm today wasn’t much of a stretch of imagination. Noticing how warm my body felt resulted in changing my ‘to do’ list, which included switching out the winter clothes, doing laundry I hadn’t originally planned on doing, hanging the towels out to air dry… the list goes on. (It was a productive day for spring cleaning!) As I noticed one thing and moved into it,  it resulted in a different choice or action which I would then move into.

This isn’t a very exciting or sexy way of describing Matrix Energetics, but it is nonetheless, living Matrix Energetics. It’s not about ‘doing’ a technique or a two-point or a frequency, not that there is anything wrong with that. Matrix Energetics is so much more than what is happening at the seminars. That is only the beginning of what Richard is teaching us to remember. By his distracting our left brains with the science and technology, our subconscious is free to play in the field of all possibility. And that’s the point of this exercise: to notice how we do this in our everyday reality, all of the time.

What do you notice?

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 6, 2010

following the breadcrumbs, uh, links

Tuesday, 4.6.10

Planning my day yesterday inspired me to make a list of everything I intended to accomplish this week. I allowed for the opportunity to take time for pauses (aka naps, which are only ever 20 minutes!) and of course, writing. So far, it’s working beautifully. Major tasks have already been moved through today and I have time to sit and write here. Eliminating the ‘rigid’ points that would have otherwise have held me up in moving through all that I wanted to accomplish has been a major bonus for me! I find myself much more relaxed and able to take time to walk. I would still like to be able to plan out my daily blogging so it continues to be enjoyable, and not turn into a chore. And that brought up the next topic.

After this weekend’s experience of not being able to write in the car because, guess what??? After all these years of being able to read in the car, apparently I cannot work on a laptop. I get carsick! Yuck. With that, I scrambled to meet my self-imposed deadline of daily blogging, which isn’t all that difficult since I journal with my morning coffee. I realized, however, that there will be times that I am not able to post the blog from the road. I was also concerned about the authenticity of this being truly a daily blog of how I create my experiences using Matrix Energetics.

It occurred to me that if there is no linear time, there is only all-time as physicists have hypothesized. We created linear time as a way to measure our experiences. Taking that one step further for consideration, if we consider Einstein’s theory of relativity discussing space-time, as a way to locate us in this physical experience, we are then the consummate two-point!

We have several busy weekends  the kids during the next two months, requiring lots of drivetime. I have to meet my commitment to myself to publish daily. I dropped that pebble, or intention, into the proverbial pond (or in this case, the Unified Field) yesterday and let go of any attachment to how I might accomplish this.

And, I completely forgot about it.

Last night, while surfing the internet, following the ‘breadcrumbs’ of links, I found myself on a website that provides tips on blogging, of all things. I hadn’t started out looking for that!

As I scrolled down the list of articles in the site’s archives, I noticed there was a piece that talked about the new WordPress updates, which is the host of this blog. It began rather stilted in its presentation, but as I continued reading, I started to get excited. Half way into the article was a whole discussion of how to post pieces on a blog and have it programmed for a future publication date. Here was the solution to what I’d put out to the Field! That was quick!

At the Matrix Energetics Philadelphia seminar last month, Richard (Bartlett) noted that the Universe is always talking to us. It’s up to us to pay attention.

For as long as my husband knows me (33 years), he has said that I see patterns and coincidences where most people don’t. When Richard mentioned that about the Universe, I knew it to be true or I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this now.

What do you intend to create?

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 5, 2010

all in a day

Monday, 4.5.10

There was a lot on my ‘to do’ list today, having been away from home this past weekend. I felt pretty tired from all of the drive time and emotions that came up. Still, I really wanted to take advantage of the continuing beautiful spring weather and make a dent in my list…. Time to plan the day, a la Matrix Energetics!

The first time I interacted with creating my day was as a forum facilitator at a Matrix seminar in November 2008. I’d just staffed in the week-long October ME event at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY where Richard demonstrated how a seminar was planned the Matrix way. Having access to Richard’s model, I was confident that we would be able to play with that. As a group, we moved our awareness forward to our Thanksgiving celebrations. As we moved through the day, feeling for points of stickiness meeting our hands, or ‘gut’ as resistance, we’d shift it using the tools we’d played with during the seminar.

I entirely forgot that we did this exercise in the forum until the day after Thanksgiving. I was on the ME message board and found myself reading feedback of people’s experiences for the holiday matching their ‘set up’ at the forum and I realized I’d just had one of the most relaxing Thanksgivings ever. Not bad for a first time!

When I was a child, my younger brother and I used to play blind man’s bluff once we’d cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. I remember moving around the room as I ‘felt’ where he was, feeling for the sink, chairs, table, trash can…. I loved walking around blindfolded, challenging myself to ‘feel’ my way. It was a great way to develop a skill that I would call on often later in life, and in my profession.

Planning one’s day using the ME System is like playing blind man’s bluff. (Then again, so is doing much of what we learn with ME!) You aren’t looking for something with your physical eyes as much as feeling where there are ‘sticky’ spots in your day, as you move through it. I began to plan my days and events using a piece of paper with a time line of 24 hours written on it. You don’t have to have experience with as an energy practitioner giving remote sessions to do this. You actually do it all of the time; you just aren’t aware of it. If you have children, you subconsciously check in with them. Same for other family members or friends. You often feel ahead for traffic, or the commute to work, and don’t realize it. Most of our daily existence, we unconsciously check in by feeling into what’s to come, or feeling our way through the experience. As I learned in my experience with Matrix, I can do this consciously.

I know that many will view this as visualization, but it’s not. While you may see in your mind’s eye what may take place for a particular point in time of your day, or plan it in your head that way, that’s only half of the process. Feeling into your day is the missing part of creating your day. When you do this, given that time isn’t linear, you can actually feel the glitches, traffic, sticky spots of jammed up energy and demands for your attention… and shift it.

I no longer use a piece of paper, but instead feel the complete 360 degrees around me for what draws my attention, and play with that. Sometimes I am only feeling to observe two points. Sometimes it’s more involved, requiring an archetype to be introduced or a geometric pattern to be shifted. As I have played with this more and more during the past 18 months, I find myself in the awareness of my heart as I create a day or an experience, letting it flow into that point in time and allowing it to flow through as I move into it. I can honestly report that every time I do this, every time I create my day, my day flows more smoothly and I am extremely productive. (The question then is, why don’t I do this every day? But that’s another entry.)

So I invite you to go ahead and do it – create a great day!

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 5, 2010

square pegs

(Note: Written on the road.)

Sun., 4.4.10

It seems this entire weekend is about ‘letting go’ as I find myself in the car most of the time without the ability to access the internet and post daily. Rather than add stress to what has evolved into an opportunity for ‘emotional spring cleaning’, I let go of the need to have this appear on the blog site and trust that my commitment to writing daily and posting every entry, even when it isn’t apparently going to show on the blog calendar as such, is enough.

After the weekend’s conversations and swirl of emotion, the question begging an answer is how much am I willing to surrender? Zack has stepped into his role as catalyst for the entire family beautifully as we each in our turn and our way come to grips with what he is mirroring or triggering for us.

Zack’s view of us — his dad, Len, me, and now his sister , Francesca who is about to graduate college, — is that all we do is work and rarely, if ever, play. In some respects, he’s right and so he is fiercely resisting growing up and losing the opportunity to play. What he doesn’t see how much we enjoy our what we do; we have found work that feeds our soul. His dad may be a bit more worn out after 30+ years in his line of work, the challenge and spark having worn thin for him, especially in this economic climate, but he is seeking to balance this with more exploration of things he enjoys.

In the past, I would actively engage all of this on an emotional level, trying to force a square peg into a round hole to ‘fix everything’. There are times that I still engage with the verbal sparring that shows up as I become defensive with points that could be well taken. In these instances, I am trying to fix things. And as I’ve learned by playing with Matrix Energetics, if you are trying to fix something, you are still engaged in the problem set. I am still learning to exercising the muscle of ‘letting go’ so it becomes totally subconscious, like driving.

Zack will learn by our example that work can provide an outlet for our passions, whether it’s directly or indirectly, as a means to be able to enjoy what we do. The timing of his maturing is segued beautifully with our own self examination and shifting of priorities.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 5, 2010

letting go

(Note: This entry was written on the road with no wireless connection available.)

Sat., 4/3/10

Our son was seventeen yesterday. He’s away at school and it’s the first time that I didn’t get to tiptoe into his room to wake him up by singing ‘happy birthday’. While I knew this was inevitable, that he someday he would ‘leave home’, it was a bit earlier in our life together than we’d expected. With all that we’ve been through as a family  because of choices he made last year, it was a bittersweet morning. I was totally at a loss as to what to do to celebrate his day, especially with  him three hours away by car!

Ah, but the entire year was a practice in letting go of my attachment to outcomes. And I can assure you, I was very, very, very  (did I say very?) attached to outcomes, especially where my son was concerned, and especially last year!

It was apparently time for me to learn this in a big way, as Zack literally had me walk my talk with what’d I’d learned over the years of studying metaphysics and going deeper into my self. It was also a test of how to use Matrix Energetics when ‘life’ got turned up a notch. After the past 15 months, figuring out how to celebrate Zack was easy. I was more than able to let go of any attachment to ‘what to do’, and simply plan to show up.

See, I’m not a helicopter mom, hovering over every little detail of our kids’ lives. But growing up with a mom who was bipolar and struggled with self-medicating, I learned to be over vigilant in anticipating everyone’s needs (not just my family’s!) Despite my best efforts to teach our son independence, I wasn’t up for his stonewalling and outmaneuvering when it came to school and often didn’t know he was falling behind until it was too late to correct. In a sense, he is a typical, rebellious teenager who isn’t challenged or interested in the academics and sees adulthood looming large without a clue how he’s going to get there. And of course, there is the breaking away from one’s attachment to parents and identifying with peers, which needless to say resulted in some very intense consequences for all of us.

It’s difficult to stay detached in the best of circumstances, but having the stage set for the emotional monsoon of last summer, I continually found myself bouncing in and out of realities (what I used to call ‘what if’ scenarios). I knew I needed a different perspective and so I reached out to Mark Dunn, Richard’s ‘first student’  of Matrix Energetics and later co-teacher, as it unfolded. Having heard many ‘Mark stories’ and where his experiences took him, I knew he would be able to provide me with insights that I wasn’t able to connect with.

The main point of my sessions with Mark was that I needed to clear my pattern of codependency as it was a big factor in what was going on with Zack. Having to  let go of ‘being there’ for my son in a way that was important to me, and showing up in a way that was appropriate for him is still a work in progress. I’ve made major headway, but there is still work to do. I am living consciously, making conscious choices and working with the tools I’ve learned and honed.

I know I turned a major corner with Zack during his spring break two weeks ago when I could simply hold the space for him to have his meltdown while my foot was wedged in the door to his room, to keep it open. I’d very intentionally shifted my awareness so I was total heart, and I literally felt my foot turn to rubber as he tried in vain to slam the door shut.

I didn’t take anything he said personally; I simply held a neutral state that allowed  him to express what he needed to say. He’d had a wicked cough leftover from a cold and to me, it energetically felt like he was about to explode. As he did, I felt totally at peace, grateful that I no longer felt the need to rush in and ‘fix it’ or even say a word. I simply allowed for his explosion and stayed steadily in my heart. After apologizing for his outburst, Zack thanked me for not doing anything more than what I did. He said it was exactly what he needed.

And guess what? His cough was gone within 48 hours.

“Awakening calls forth a transformation in both our interior and exterior lives. This is not about perfection. It is about wholeness. it is not about having things exactly as we want them, but about having things exactly as they are. When we allow things to be, a sense of harmony develops; the gap between our realization and who we are as a human being gets smaller and smaller. A seamless continuum begins to emerge between realization and expression, awakening and its actualization.” — Emptiness Dancing by Adyanshanti

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 2, 2010

are we there yet?

Like most who are familiar with it, my first experience with Matrix Energetics was at a seminar. As I mentioned, the state is intentionally highly charged so the experience will be noticed by our energetic fields as well as our bodies. Let’s face it, between the human dramas we’ve created and witness, and the myriad of wireless technology, there’s a lot that’s vying for our attention! The immersion in this charged atmosphere, gives our bodies a reference point for entrainment. That sounds complicated, but it isn’t really. In a way, it’s how I learned to knit.

When I first began knitting, I was awkward and all thumbs as I tried to understand what I was doing. I was trying so hard to knit that my shoulders were all scrunched up, I was breathing shallowly, and I kept dropping the wool before I could successfully wrap it around the needles. (Sound familiar?) After quite a few awkward attempts, I noticed that my body’s tension was a huge obstacle to what I was doing. I realized that the stitches would flow if I would let go of the need to ‘do it right’. When I took my focus off of my hands and allowed my shoulders to relax into what I was doing, I found that I was breathing more deeply and my mind quieted. You might recognize this as getting into the zone. In other words, I stopped trying.

Stitches began to form with ease as I developed a rhythm. It was letting go of my need to figure out how the wool and needles worked to create a stitch, that would cumulatively create a garment of some sort. I was no longer ‘doing’ knitting; I was knitting. With practice, my body recognized how knitting felt as this experience was encoded into it for reference. My hands knew what to do as if they had a mind of their own. This is known as ‘body memory’.

When I returned home and back to my life, I had that ‘seminar high’ and wondered how to not only retain what I felt but how to apply all that I’d learned – which I later came to understand is ‘remembered’. I was trying too hard and all in my head about it. It took practice, during which time I admittedly returned to seminars, but I realized that the first and most important step to this process is simply being in your heart.

At first I would ‘drop down into my heart’ by visualizing myself getting into an elevator on the top floor of a building (my mind) and watch the elevator descending by observing the numbers above the doors, until I reached my destination (my heart). I observed my shoulders relaxing as I descended until the elevator stopped. When the doors opened, I stepped out into a beautiful vista. (For me this is usually the meadow at Yosemite.) I noticed that I would always let out a long sigh as I stepped out of the elevator which indicated that I’d arrived in a different space – the heart space. Sometimes on checking in with myself, my shoulders felt tense, so I’d get back on the elevator because my mind was still too engaged and I’d gotten off at the wrong floor! With practice, I began to find myself going into my heart more often than when playing in the field of Matrix Energetics. It was easy to do when I was happy or positive but we all know that life isn’t always like that. I was presented with lots of opportunity to literally walk my talk with ME when life became challenging. (A teaser for future blogs…)

Being ‘all heart’ isn’t 24-7 for me yet. Sometimes I blip out  or respond on auto pilot. As I continued to observe where I put my attention, or ‘notice what I notice’, I developed a different set of awareness muscles. I find more often than not, I now step back from highly charged situations and observe what is happening from a detached point of view, staying completely grounded with access to the wisdom of my heart. From this place I retain objectivity and have outcomes that are more in alignment with what I intend to create for myself, rather than outcomes shrouded in fears based on old patterns and beliefs. Eventually, I noticed that going into my heart space has morphed into being my heart.

Bringing this into my everyday life has been easier than I thought. There are opportunities everywhere to play with what I’ve  learned to remember at ME seminars. My daily walk with the dog is now a practice in consciously ‘being my heart’. Engaging from this point of observation, I notice that cars stop to allow me to cross the street (an anomaly in our town!) and our dog is much calmer and not lunging randomly at those we pass. Driving in this state of awareness makes for a more fluid experience for the most part, with green lights, clear intersections, and readily available parking no matter what time of day or year it is. What used to be ‘different’ is now the norm. When there is traffic or a so-called glitch, I notice it as different, check in with my awareness (am I heart-based?) and then notice what else is different in my awareness. This is, by the way, a two-point in ME terminology, since what I am actually doing is taking a measurement of two points!

When Richard speaks of Matrix Energetics as a consciousness technology, he states that it isn’t a ‘modality’, which so many of us who are drawn to ME are familiar with being predominantly in the field of “energy work.” This isn’t to say that it’s outside of  who we are either. In fact, it’s exactly who we are. Richard is just presenting it to us all in a playful manner not only to get our attention, but to help us remember our true nature as human beings. We’ve just forgotten.

By engaging with reality from the point of awareness that is heart-based,  every moment is an opportunity to play. And guess what? The universe is playing back!

Posted by: Artandsoulnj | April 1, 2010

showing up

As with most things in my life, I don’t even know where to begin.

I had the inspiration for this blog while flying out to SF to participate in the Hoffman Process for my 50th birthday last December. I thought I was going to be spending my birthday opening the Matrix Energetics Practitioner Certification seminar weekend in Seattle as a member of the staff. I was all set to go, complete with leather jeans purchased on ebay. (They are the only thing I’ve ever purchased on ebay, and that tale is whole entry on its own – Level 3 ME!) It was a playful way to show up in full attire to tell my Jim Morrison story, as Richard calls it. December 8 is Jim’s birthday and was the PC training day and it all seemed appropriate – opening the seminar wearing black leather for my 50th, closing the seminar wearing black leather for Jim Morrison’s birthday.

Apparently the universe had other things in mind.

Let me back up a bit here. My name is Donna Cerame. I currently live in New Jersey with my husband and dog. Our two children are away at school, and no one in my family has been to a complete seminar, yet. Before I began playing in the morphic field of Matrix Energetics, I was an at-home mom with a part time practice as an energy practitioner. One of my teachers brought Dr. Bartlett and Matrix Energetics to my attention in the September 2007, but it had already shown up in my life by then. I’d had several clients in a row with odd experiences, like stage four cancer, metastasized in the liver completely disappear after I heard clairaudiently to ‘visualize a triangle, rotate the angle 45 degrees and beam pink light into the center of the triangle”. There are other equally inexplicable experiences. By the time I got to the Matrix seminar, I was more than ready to learn what exactly had been happening in my clients’ sessions!

One of the movies on the flight last December was Julie and Julia, the story of an aspiring writer’s love of cooking and how she decided to cook her way through Julia Child’s cookbook, and blog about it as she went. Julie wrote of her ups and downs, with all the nitty gritty details – successes and failures. It struck me that it could be fun and interesting to share how Dr. Bartlett’s Consciousness Technology, Matrix Energetics, (now Matrix Energetics Systems) moves through me. I’d been to a number of seminars where I’d offered forums and was hosting practice and study groups and the most common concern I’d heard was that people have difficulty maintaining the ‘feel’ of Matrix Energetics or don’t know how to use it in their lives. While this blog is a direct outcome of that December trip, it has been a long time in the making.

In the process of writing the first draft of his most recent book, The Physics of Miracles, in July 2008 at the Newark seminar, I was a member of the staff. Since I lived nearby, I was asked if I was available to join in the first read of the book draft during the week following the seminar. It was one of the most interesting and adventurous weeks of my life and having been home raising our two children for nearly twenty years, I can assure you I was doing everything and anything but playing in the quantum field. Or so I thought.

My role in the initial draft was to represent ‘the average person’. As Richard noted when the week was up, if I didn’t implode or explode from the information in the book, it would be safe to release to the general population. I’m glad I didn’t know that when I agreed to participate, not that I would have declined, I just would have been even more anxious than I already was. Besides, if anyone can reconstruct a hologram of a person, my guess is it would be Richard!

In the two and a half years that I have been playing consciously in the morphic field of Matrix Energetics, my life has more than imploded and exploded on many levels. In some ways, I’m glad I didn’t have this idea for a blog a year ago because it might have been more of a challenge to maintain daily. (We were on the explosion part of the story, as some of you already know.) What I have learned and will share is that I went from ‘living with Matrix Energetics’ to living Matrix Energetics. What I used to experience in seminars, I am now able to sustain in my daily life, altho the heightened energetics of the seminar is always fun and I love to play with everyone of ‘like minds’… or rather ‘like hearts’.

Because the other piece to all of this is that what powers Matrix Energetics, is our heart. (That is the secret behind ‘The Secret’.) Dr. Bartlett has been a quantum explorer of the unified field and discovered what it is we are all doing, unconsciously. He then put together the science to prove it, sort of pre-digested it for us all and made it fun so that we can create on a conscious level and with joy. I’d say he’s been more than successful in his teaching. I, for one, am all living proof. But then, so are you. You just may not know it yet.

So, welcome. Pour yourself a cup of tea, or coffee and make yourself comfortable. I hope you’ll stay for a while. 

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